Please Stay
by Miss-HL
Summary: Baby Noah won't settle and Kate is exhausted. She calls the one guy that she knows will help her...Castle. Set in S4 so the Ryan/Jenny timeline is different.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Sadly.

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><p>Chapter One.<p>

It was getting later, Beckett pushed the blanket off her leg and stood up. Noah was crying in his crib, he had only been settled for a moment but woke at the sound of honking from outside.

09.27pm.

"Please go back to sleep baby boy, shhh." She stroked his cheek, causing him to stop sobbing.

He was quiet for a moment before he started to cry again.

Beckett rubbed her finger back over his cheek, gently soothing the baby.

"There we go Noah, back to sleep." Beckett sighed into the crib as Noah's eyes started to close once again.

Kate sat back down on the couch, pulling the blanket back over her legs. Ryan and Jenny had dropped him over after they had closed the case they were working on, Jenny had been a mess when she dropped him off. Double checking everything; the crib, the bottles, his toys, blankets, making sure she had brought everything with her. Noah was sound asleep in his car seat when they dropped him over. Jenny was gripping Ryan's arm as he ushered her out the door, her knuckles almost turning white and Ryan wasn't even making a face.

This was the first night away from Noah for them both. Ryan had pulled a new all nights at the precinct but they were going to be a few hours drive away from him and they wouldn't be back till late Saturday night.

"Call us if anything goes wrong, he hasn't been settling for a while, wakes a lot, it's the change in weather." Jenny said in the doorway, peering over Beckett's shoulder to the sleeping baby.

"I will." Beckett smiled at the couple.

Ryan was distressed about leaving Noah too, he just wasn't showing it in front of Jenny, trying to be brave.

"Thank you for this Beckett, I know it wasn't the weekend you had in mind. Call me if you need anything." Ryan said quietly before closing the door before Jenny could refuse to leave.

-x-

Noah had slept soundly for few hours before waking. Beckett had fed him and he was happily lying on his blanket, giggling as Beckett folded the washing next to him.

Every noise from outside he would quieten, wait for a moment before making anymore noise.

But when there was more honking outside he lost it and went into a fully fledged tantrum. Beckett walked up and down the hallway trying to calm him, tried to fed him, put him in the pram and tried walking him in that but nothing was working.

It was late, Beckett was exhausted, Noah was still crying against her shoulder.

She grabbed her phone, scrolling down to Castle's name, opening a new message.

_You still awake? _

It took only a minute and her phone was ringing.

"I didn't mean to wake you." She said down the phone, looking over at the clock on the wall.

12.37am.

"It's fine, are you ok?" He asked trying to hide his yawn.

She had woken him.

"I can't get him to settle Castle, he just wont sleep." She breathed down the phone, wishing Noah would just fall to sleep.

"I'll be over in a bit."

"No Castle-" But before Beckett could protest, Castle had already hung up the phone and was on his way over.

-x-

There was a light tap at the door and Beckett stood, taking Noah with her. There were no tears in his eyes, just a wimper.

"Hey." She said, letting him in.

"Hey yourself." He said smiling at Beckett, cradling Noah against her shoulder, blanket draped over him.

"I can't get him to sleep Castle, he has been crying nonstop, he's fed, changed, not to hot or cold."

The tiredness in her eyes, sadness in her voice stung him.

"It's just different surroundings that he isn't used to, it's not you Kate." He said, rubbing his hand up her forearm.

"It feels like it's me." She said, sighing into Noah's blanket.

"It isn't, pass him to me," He held out his hands and she handed over the crying baby, "Go and get some tea and I'll try settle him."

Beckett walked into the lounge a moment later, two cups in her hand she noticed something.

It was quiet.

"How did you do it?" She asked, bewildered by Castle. Noah was rested against his shoulder, sound sleep and wrapped in his blanket.

"He was worn out, only a matter of time." He smiled, taking the cup from Beckett.

"More like you have the touch and I seriously do not." She said, sitting down next to him and Noah.

"It's not that at all Kate, come on. You've looked after him before and I bet he wasn't crying from the moment they dropped him here."

"He was fine until a car honked outside. Jenny said he has been having trouble settling lately."

"See." Castle frowned.

Beckett rolled her eyes at Castle, taking a sip of her tea.

"Ryan and Jenny should have left him with you or maybe Espo and Lanie."

"They left him with you because they trust you and you are good with him. Plus Lanie and Esposito are away on a romantic getaway, not the ideal place to take a baby."

Beckett pulled a face, then smiled.

"Have you heard from them?" Castle asked changing the subject.

Beckett nodded, Ryan and Jenny were upstate for a family wedding. Ryan had asked Beckett to watch him for the night so they didn't have to come back early or lug around a four month old baby.

"Ryan txt a few times asking how Noah was doing, nothing really detailed, I think Jenny is having separation anxiety from him and Ryan is tying to make being away from him not a big deal." Beckett smiled, looking at Noah fast asleep against Castle's shoulder.

"Any wonder, look at him." Castle moved Noah from his shoulder, down to the nook in his arm.

Beckett winced at Castle for moving him, scared that he would wake.

"They are fun at this age, always trying to look around, never wanting to sleep. I would stare at Alexis for hours, they are such time wasters." Castle smiled at Noah.

"I wouldn't know." Beckett shrugged her shoulders.

"No cousins? Friends with babies?" Castle asked.

"Nope, he's the first." Beckett smiled, watching Noah sleep soundly in Castle's arms.

"Well, you are doing very well." Castle smiled, squeezing Beckett's knee.

"So well that I had to call you."

"Personally I think you just wanted me to come over, impress you with my expertise in the field of getting children to sleep." He winked at Beckett.

"Well, I am impressed Castle, I'll give you that."

The look Castle gave her was priceless, "I'm sorry, did you just say something nice to me? Noah, please tell you heard that and you can tell Aunt Kate and everyone when you get bigger that she was actually, genuinely nice to me."

"I say nice things to you all the time." She frowned.

"Last week you called me a petulant child." Castle said, acting wounded and Beckett laughed.

"You threw a tantrum in the precinct because your phone went dead and you couldn't play games." Beckett glared at Castle.

"It's a valid excuse Beckett, I was totally bored."

"You could have helped me with paperwork. You honestly wonder why Gates still throws you out of the precinct."

Castle huffed in defeat, knowing he'd lost the argument. He flicked the power button on the TV remote.

"What are you doing? You'll wake him up." Beckett lunged for the remote but Castle moved it quickly from her hand.

"Babies sleep through everything."

"He woke twice from the sound of a car honking. Castle, turn it off."

"He's fine," Castle stood lifting Noah into his crib, still sound asleep. "You're adorable when you're angry at me but I swear, he's fine."

Castle sat down a little closer to Beckett, his leg touching hers.

"Oh, we just missed the end of The Lion King. I love how Disney is playing all the classics." Castle screwed up his face and then turned to Beckett.

"Don't say it." He scowled at her, knowing what she was thinking.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." She joked, bumping her shoulder into his.

"I can't handle it when you call me a petulant child, it hurts my pride so bad." He mocked crying and Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Not what I was thinking, I was actually wondering what movie was going to be on next."

-x-

They were halfway through watching Peter Pan when Beckett turned to Castle, "What?" She asked. She'd noticed him staring at her for the past few minutes and she was just going to brush it off but it was starting to get creepy.

"Nothing."

"Well will you quit the staring then."

"You're tired, go get some sleep. If he wakes, I've got him."

"I'm fine Castle, I'm not that tired." But as soon as she said it, she began to feel the tiredness sink in. He knew her better than she knew herself.

Castle moved his arm across the back of the chair, causing Beckett to give him the raised eyebrow.

"Don't worry Beckett, I wasn't going to make a move on you, just trying to stretch out. The couch isn't that comfortable."

"You don't have the stay." Beckett said quietly, feeling bad for making Castle come over.

"I want to." He said simply, stretching his torso against the back of the couch, moving closer to her.

Beckett couldn't deny that she liked the fit next to him on the couch, but she couldn't let herself think it. It would cloud every single thing in her head because of what was currently happening in her lounge felt surreal. Baby asleep in the crib, sitting next to Castle on the couch and watching a late night Disney movie.

No, she would not over think this.

But over the last few months there were touches, comments and grazing shoulders in the elevator. It wasn't just one of them instigating it, they were both guilty of it and now as they sat next to each other on the couch at a strange hour of the morning Beckett took a deep breath in and moved into the gap between Castle's arm on top of the sofa and the side of his body. She wasn't letting her mind think about the move she just made, not letting it go into overdrive of what this meant.

"You're lucky that I'm more comfortable than your couch." He joked, making light of the situation because the reality of Kate Beckett snuggling into his side was too overwhelming to thinking about.

"You sure are." She said, turning her focus back to the movie.

-x-

Noah woke again, gurgling and giggling and Beckett opened her eyes, suddenly realizing she had fallen asleep. She was asleep on something. Something moving or was it someone, "Castle?" she whispered, finally registering that it was Castle that she had fallen asleep on.

"Yeah." Castle said, waking up himself as well, neck sore from sleeping sitting up.

Beckett stretched, waking up properly. She moved from Castle's lap, which he wasn't impressed with.

How did she manage to get down there in the first place? She couldn't remember it. The last thing she remembered was Tinkerbell drinking the poison, the bit where she always closes her eyes in.

She must have fallen asleep.

"Stay." He asked, rubbing her shoulder, squeezing gently.

"He's awake, he's only been asleep an hour."

"He's fine, he's just entertaining himself, give him a few minutes and he'll fall back to sleep." Castle tugged on Beckett's shoulder and she laid back down. Willingly laid back down on Castle's lap. She must be tired.

Castle's hand made soothing circles on Beckett's back, she would usually fight this kind of touch but she was so tired and it was basically sending her to sleep.

She fought the sleep until she heard Noah go quiet, Castle's body moved as he peeked into the crib.

"He's gone back to sleep." Castle whispered, turning the volume on the TV down to low.

-x-

When Beckett woke again, she wasn't as comfortable as before. Her eyes opened to find herself asleep on a pillow, no Castle to be seen.

She pulled herself from the couch, checking Noah's crib but it wasn't there.

"Castle." She called out, walking up the hallway.

"In here."

She leaned against the doorway to her room, Castle had pushed Noah's crib into the bedroom, He was sitting on the end of her bed in her dark room, only the light from outside shining in, pushing the crib gently with his foot.

Any other day she would have laughed if someone told her that Castle would be sitting on her bed, pushing a crib and helping a baby back to sleep. Laughed and then probably shot him.

"I didn't hear him wake up." She said, sitting down next to Castle, peeking a look at Noah.

"I managed to get him out of the lounge before he started wailing, although getting you off me was a tad difficult." He chuckled, nudging her knee with his.

"I'm not doing a very good job of looking after him if you're doing all the work and letting me sleep."

"You deserve the sleep, especially after this week." Castle referred back to the case they were given at the start of the week. Double homicide with no leads, no witness' and nothing to go on.

Gates had sent Castle home from spouting too many mob/CIA/spy theories. They hadn't seen each other since Monday afternoon and it was now early Saturday morning.

3.14am to be exact.

They had managed to close the case after spending every waking moment at the precinct, every second they were checking leads, financials and combing through the histories of the victims.

At one point Ryan was sure that he wasn't going to make it to the wedding, Esposito was avoiding Lanie because he was worried that he wouldn't be able to make it away for the weekend and was worried about the wrath of Lanie when they got a hit on a print from the victims wallet.

It linked back to an ex-con that had just been let out of prison. They found him in a bar on the Lower West Side, sipping a whiskey on the rocks, charged to the credit card of one of his victims. When they arrested him, he went willingly saying that he liked it better on the inside anyway. All that work and he wanted to be sent to prison.

It was one of those cases that suck the life out of you, realizing that a man would kill two innocent men he had no affiliation with, no ties to at all, just because he wanted to be sent back to prison.

"Go back to sleep for a bit, he's asleep."

"What about you? Are you going to go?" Beckett asked, not taking her eyes from Noah.

"I will if you want me to." Castle said, looking at Beckett with hopeful eyes.

"I don't want to keep you here." She shrugged feeling bad for pulling him from his bed.

"I want to be here." He said, his voice a little louder than before, trying to prove his point.

"Ok, but no couch. I'm already sore from taking a nap on it," She stood checking Noah one last time, the baby fast asleep and looking content and moved up her bed. She pulled the top pillow off and snuggled down, "You coming Castle?" She asked, tapping the other side of the bed.

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><p><em>Hey,<em>

_Well this is just an idea I came up with the other night. Not really sure where it's headed or if I'll continue it. What do you think?_

_Thanks for reading._

_H_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same as always.

Italics are memories (I hate the word flashback)

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><p>Chapter Two.<p>

When Beckett woke she lay there drowsing until she jolted herself properly awake.

Noah.

She sat up, a hand falling from her hip and she looked over her shoulder. Castle lay sound asleep on the other side of the bed, his hair ruffled against her pillow.

She heard Noah babbling in his crib and Beckett moved from the bed, picking the baby up and smiling at him. She gently kicked the bedroom door closed behind her, letting Castle sleep. It was early and there was no need for him to be awake.

Beckett laid Noah down on his blanket, popping the buttons open on his jumpsuit to get him changed. Before him she had changed a few nappys, here and there but Noah had given her a lot of practice since his arrival.

Remembering back to the day he was born made Beceket giggle, Noah looked up to her, eyes wide and full of wonder.

-x-

_"RYAN!" Esposito yelled, running into the bullpen, cellphone in hand._

_It was a late Summer evening, they had just closed a case and were finishing up the last of the paperwork when Esposito ran in._

_"Jenny's sister just rung, do you not answer your phone bro? Your wife is in labor." Esposito blurted out, out of breath and sweating from the run._

_He'd obviously been at the morgue, 'visiting' Lanie._

_"What? Oh my god, what? My phone," He pulled it from his pocket, screen black. "It must have gone flat."_

_Ryan turned to Beckett, his breath rapid._

_"I'll drive." She grabbed her keys, all of them running for the elevator._

_Ryan sat in the front, tapping his hand on the dashboard the entire trip. Beckett knew that it would be annoying Castle. Not the noise but that Ryan was allowed to be tapping. She hated tapping. _

_Beckett dropped Ryan and Esposito at the front door and they both ran in._

_"I love this bit." Castle said excitedly._

_"Why?" Beckett asked, walking shoulder to shoulder into the maternity ward from the carpark._

_"The excitement of finally meeting this baby that you've loved unconditionally for the past nine months, meeting your son or daughter. I was in hysterics." Castle laughed, finding Esposito in the waiting room._

_"We make it?" Beckett asked and he nodded._

_"Yeah, she's only dilated a bit, I have no idea what that means but they said we have a bit of a wait." Both Beckett and Castle chuckled at Esposito's answer._

_Lanie arrived half an hour later, carrying four coffees which were a much welcome to the tired detectives and writer._

_"Any change?" She asked, taking a seat next to Esposito._

_They all shook their heads._

_"Dinner." Come on, Castle stood and outstretched his hand to pull Beckett up._

_She didn't even argue as he pulled her from the hard plastic chair. She barely noticed that his hand was still holding hers when they found the corridor to the cafeteria._

_And then suddenly it was all she could think about. His fingers wrapped tightly around hers._

_"I'll get drinks." She said, taking a step away from him but his hand tightened around hers and she couldn't get far._

_"Castle." She said, frowning at him and his need to not let her go._

_"What?" He asked innocently._

_She held up their joint hands and raised an eyebrow._

_"Sorry, I didn't realize." He let her hand go and she felt it hit her leg. He didn't realize that he was still holding her hand?_

_Did she hold her breath the entire way down the corridor because of his touch for nothing._

_"What do you feel like?" He stood up again, taking a step away from the chiller and looked at her._

_"Uhh.." She had no answer, she couldn't even think of a single thing to say._

_"What?" He asked, knowing there was a thought going a million miles a minute in her mind._

_"Nothing." She turned, walking towards the drink chiller._

_A moment later she felt a hand on the small of her back, caressing slightly as he came to stand next to her._

_"They do fried rice and sweet and sour dishes so I got a couple for us all to share. Picked drinks yet?" He asked._

_She hadn't even looked inside the chiller, she just stood there thinking about before._

_Was she making a big deal about nothing._

_"Kate." He said, turning his body to face hers._

_"Yeah, sorry. What?" She opened the chiller, grabbing two sodas and two bottles of water._

_"What's up?" He asked, handing the cashier his card._

_"Nothing, just tired and excited for Ryan and Jenny."_

_Dinner was welcomed by Lanie and Esposito. Kate decided to sit across from them and the makeshift dining table they had made from the magazine table. The waiting room was mostly empty, a few people waiting up the front. Ryan had told them earlier in the week that their families wouldn't be there when she was in labor, that no hospital deserved two Irish families welcoming a new arrival._

_Castle pulled a face at her when she chose to sit on the other side of the table. The furtherest away from him she could possibly get without walking out the door._

_It was getting later, Ryan had just come out saying it would be awhile yet and they should go home for the night. Esposito flat out refused saying he would be here until the baby arrived. The other three nodded, all in agreement with Esposito._

_Ryan looked thrilled that his comrades were sticking at his side._

_"Hey." Castle said, sitting down next to Beckett. She had been staring out the window for awhile, she couldn't tell how much time had passed since Ryan had come out._

_Lanie was laying across the chairs, her head rested on Esposito's leg. Beckett couldn't see her face but she knew that she was asleep. Lanie had pulled a double shift before getting here, she would be exhausted._

_Esposito was wide awake, staring at the door that Ryan had come out of earlier. Sometimes Beckett wondered if he ever slept, his military training in full working order._

_"Hi," Beckett said sleepily, resting her head on her hand, "Lanie asleep?" She asked, yawning herself._

_Castle nodded, smiling at the same time._

_"What?" She asked, letting her arm drop from the back of the chair._

_"I wonder when we are going to be sitting here waiting for Espo to come out and tell us what Lanie had." Castle said quietly._

_Beckett laughed, shaking her head. "I'd be careful, he has like ninja hearing."_

_Castle stretched his arm out across the back of Beckett's chair. His fingertips grazing her back as he did._

_"You tired?" He asked, turning his full attention to her._

_"Yeah." She said, yawning again._

_He patted his leg and Beckett raised an eyebrow at her._

_"No way, Castle."_

_"Well, can I sleep on your lap then because I'm getting tired."_

_That one earned him a glare._

_They sat in silence for another half hour before Castle turned to her, tugging at her arm._

_"What?" She said, looking to the door that Ryan came out of._

_"I'm trying to stay awake and you're yawning every twenty seconds. Sleep." He chucked her jacket on his lap._

_"Castle, I'm not going to sleep all over you. No way."_

_"Please just get some sleep." He said in a tone she'd heard only once or twice in the time she'd known him. This tone only really came out when they were in life threatening situations._

_She didn't have the power to argue with him, especially when he was looking at her with those caring blue eyes._

_She laid down on her jacket, feeling Castle's thigh under the thin fabric._

_"See, not so bad is it?" He asked, rubbing his hand up her side resting on her ribs._

_Beckett said nothing, instead she closed her eyes._

-x-

She was leaning against the fridge holding Noah, his bottle being warmed in the microwave.

He was a lot happier this morning, looking around, trying to pull his head around.

When the microwave beeped he startled a bit, but didn't cry thankfully.

"Here we go baby Noah, breakfast." She sat on the couch, pulling the blanket down and moving Noah into the crook of her arm.

-x-

_When Beckett woke she could feel someone playing with her hair. She sat up quickly causing Castle to jump._

_"You were playing with my hair?" She asked, running her fingers through it._

_"Good morning to you to Detective, have a good sleep?" Castle asked smirking at her._

_She heard a chuckle and turned to see Lanie giving her the eye._

_"Yeah I did actually, where's Espo?" She asked, stretching her back out and standing up._

_"Coffee run."_

_"Any news?" Beckett asked, sitting back down next to Castle. His arm immediately finding her shoulder, wrapping his fingers around it._

_She chose to ignore it, otherwise Lanie would start cracking some jokes and she really couldn't be bothered._

_"The nurse came out before saying things were beginning to get started. Few more hours though." Lanie said, checking her watch._

_Beckett moved closer to Castle, turning slightly against him to check his watch that was currently strapped to the hand that was cradling her shoulder. _

_"2am." She breathed, leaning back into Castle. She refused to look at Lanie, knowing exactly what face she would be getting for this. For sleeping on Castle, holding his hand and letting him put his arm around her, not to mention what she was currently doing; cuddling into his side._

_Esposito came into the waiting room, four coffees on a tray._

_"Any news?" He asked, putting them on the table before looking back at the door._

_"Not since you left ten minutes ago babe, sit down." Lanie smiled up to him, pointing at the chair next to her._

_"You're a machine Esposito, how are you not tired?" Castle asked, taking a sip of his coffee._

_"When we used to have to stay awake on missions, we used to play these games and now every time I need to stay awake, I just start playing automatically."_

_Hearing stories from Esposito's days before the 12th always interested Beckett. He'd seriously done it all. _

_"What kind of game?" Castle asked, fully intrigued._

_"You can do countries, celebrities, songs. You name it. You pick something, I'll start with England and then someone has to say another country starting with the last letter of the country I named."_

_"Denmark?" Lanie said, smiling. _

_"Kiribati." Castle said proudly and everyone turned to him and frowned. Playing this game with him was going to be interesting._

_"Rick, hey you should probably wake up." Beckett whispered into his ear._

_He had fallen asleep during the game, head rested against Beckett's shoulder._

_When he didn't budge, she moved her hand up and ran it through his hair, before rubbing her finger against the lobe of his ear._

_"Kate." He said with a groggy tone, barely able to open his eyes. _

_"Yeah, come on. The nurse just came out, she had the baby." _

_He sat up quickly, taking the hand that she had run through his hair in his own and squeezing it._

_"What is it?" He asked._

_"Didn't tell us." She smiled at him._

_4.47am._

_Esposito was pacing the room, still wide awake. Lanie was standing as well, staring at the door._

_Castle stood, pulling Beckett with him._

_It was a good half hour before the door opened. Ryan came out holding a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. The look on his face almost broke Beckett's heart. His smile was nothing she had ever seen before, the look in his eyes was pure love. She had never seen someone love anything more at that moment._

_"Kevin." Esposito said, taking a step towards Ryan, "It's a boy!" Esposito smiled at his partner._

_"A perfectly healthy and happy baby boy." Ryan smiled._

_He was perfect too, all wrapped up in the blanket. Sound asleep in his Father's arms._

_"He's gorgeous." Beckett spoke, taking a step closer._

_Esposito's hand gripped Ryan's shoulder as he looked down at the baby, "Well done Bro."_

_Castle did the same as he smiled at the baby._

_Lanie had tears in her eyes, clearly the most emotional out of everyone._

_"Have you named him?" She asked, looking back to Ryan._

_"We have. Noah Javier Ryan." Ryan proudly smiled at Esposito._

_"What?" Esposito asked._

_"We have this tradition in our family of picking middle names from people that have done some great, memorable things and when we were picking names Jenny said his middle name should be Javier because you're my partner, you have my back and keep me walking through that door every night."_

_Esposito's eyes glistened as Ryan continued, _

_"And if anything happens to Jenny or I, you two are responsible for him," Ryan smiled at Lanie and Esposito and then turned to Castle and Beckett, "And because they might need a weekend off, then the two of you will be on duty." _

_"What?" Beckett asked confused by his statement._

_"Well, Jenny and I had trouble coming up with just two god parents for him so we decided on all of you. If we aren't here to bring him up then two detectives, a medical examiner and a writer should make for an entertaining and fun life." Ryan smiled at his closest friends, his friends that he had just made an unbreakable bond with._

-x-

"Morning."

Beckett turned to see Castle walking towards her, rubbing his eyes.

"Hi." She smiled, looking back at Noah, his bottle almost empty.

"You looked like you were doing some intense thinking." He said, taking his seat next to her on the couch.

"Thinking about when he was born." Beckett smiled to Castle as he remembered too.

"Esposito was so wired that day, the man does not sleep."

They both laughed.

"Ryan's face when he came out of the delivery room, I can never forget it."

"Neither can I." Castle smiled, rubbing Beckett's knee and peeking a look at Noah.

"I'll take him and you get changed, we should go out for a walk or something. Weathers ok and they brought the pram with them didn't they?" Castle asked and Beckett nodded, handing Noah over.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi everyone,<strong>

**first of, thanks for all the alerts and reviews on the last chapter. Roughly going on a scribbled plan on a post it note, I'd say this story will be around five-six chapters but it could change. **

**Hope you will all stick with me! **

**Hannah**

**p.s Sorry if you hate reading in italics. It wasn't supposed to be that long but it managed to just keep going. **

**Hopefully a new chapter in the next couple of days!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three.

"Ryan rung when you were in the shower, I hope you don't mind that I answered your phone." Castle confessed as Beckett walked from her room into the lounge.

"What did he say?" she asked, holding another cup of coffee, wondering if Castle had refilled it or whether she didn't drink as much as she thought.

"He was surprised that I answered but kept it quick. They had an amazing sleep, ready for a full on Irish wedding today. Also said it was a good idea to take him out. Jenny usually takes him on a walk so it will be good for his routine."

Beckett nodded, wondering what Ryan would be thinking when Castle answered her phone in the early morning.

"Do you mind if we head back to the loft too? I should probably change." Castle smiled, heading for the pram that he had already assembled. It was one of the ones where you attached the car seat to the frame. Perfect for New Yorkers who still used a cab with a baby.

-x-

"Hey, Dad, do you think that-" Alexis' mouth hit the floor as she saw who was coming through the door.

"Hey, Pumpkin." Castle said casually, holding the door open for Kate to push Noah through.

"Something you want to tell me?" She asked, eyebrows raised and hand on her hip.

"You said you always wanted a sibling." Castle mocked, walking past Alexis and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"So whose baby did you steal? Are you trying to trap Kate? Make her swoon over you and a baby?" Alexis asked, laughing at her Dad.

"Would I do that? she's trying to trap me."

When she laughed he looked wounded, "Yeah right, Kate has standards."

The whole thing was a joke but it actually scared Kate, could she actually have this?

"Wound me child. God parent duties, Jenny and Ryan are at a wedding." Castle explained walking into the office.

"Was he really annoying?" Alexis asked, walking over to Kate and the pram.

"Actually saved me, Noah wouldn't stop crying. Your Dad was amazing, now I know why you turned out so well. Honestly, I used to wonder."

They both laughed as Alexis peered over the pram. Noah was happily buckled in, eyes open and looking around the room.

"Wow, he's grown so much. Can I hold him?" Alexis asked, standing back to look at Kate.

"Of course." Kate unbuckled the harness, pulling the belt over and clear of Noah's head, "There you go."

Alexis picked up Noah, smiling at him as she did.

"I can believe how much you look like Kevin." She cooed, sitting down with him on the couch, "I think it's the eyes."

Kate nodded, "And that cheeky grin he gives you, exactly like Ryan."

Castle came out of his office, new clothes, wet hair.

He'd showered? How long had Kate and Alexis been playing with Noah?

He sat down on the couch with Kate, sitting closer to her than he needed.

"We are taking him for a walk in the park if you wanted to come?" Kate asked Alexis who suddenly looked up from Noah.

The smile on Castle's face could probably be seen from space.

"I have a study group in the park actually, I could walk with you three if you are going that same way." Alexis shrugged.

"We can do." Kate smiled.

The feel of Castle's hand on her knee almost gave her a fright. Out of nowhere his hand was caressing her knee like it was a normal thing to do, like Castle touching her was a daily habit.

It wasn't, but it was turning into one.

Alexis noticed but chose to ignore it, instead continue playing with Noah who was giggling.

Beckett leant against the back of the couch as Castle did up Noah's buckles. Alexis had gone upstairs to grab her bag and book for study group.

Castle was over to Kate in a flash, hands rested on either side of her legs, head leaning into hers, "Thank you." He whispered, his words burning the side of her neck.

"For?" She asked.

"Inviting Alexis to come with us." He answered, lips moving up and kissing her cheek gently before stepping back and turning his focus back to Noah.

-x-

"They aren't even studying." Castle proclaimed as Alexis ran off to see her friends. They all waved and both Beckett and Castle waved back, smiling at Alexis pointing to Beckett and then to the pram.

Obviously her friends were a little confused about why her Dad was pushing a pram.

"I used to do that with my fiends, go to the park with a textbook and not once open it. Instead we'd talk about what boys we had kissed and going on dates." Kate joked, knowing Castle would hate it.

"Stop it, I hate hearing that, it feels wrong." Castle shuddered and Beckett playfully wrapped her hand around his upper arm and sighed.

"Feeling old?" she asked, keeping her hand there while she pouted at him.

"Low blow, Kate Beckett, low blow. But actually no, I'm not feeling old at all thank you very much."

Kate rolled her eyes,taking her hand away and it caused Castle to stop walking. He looked at her with those pleading blue eyes, silently asking her because asking her out loud seemed stupid.

It took her a moment to realize what he was asking of her.

She wrapped her fingers back around his arm so they were facing forward and they continued walking.

The entire silent exchange took only a few seconds but every second it was screaming into Kate's brain.

"I wonder what time Ryan and Jenny will make it back to the city." Beckett asked, looking up to Castle, her chin almost touching his shoulder as they walked.

"I doubt whether they will leave the reception before ten so I'm guessing midnight by the time they make it back. He said on the phone that they had managed to see all the family so that was the main thing." Castle said turning the pram slightly and adjusted their walking pattern.

Two older woman were sitting on a beach, eyeing the three of them up. They pointed and smiled, whispering to each other. Beckett tried to ignore it, tried to ignore her own feelings but by the smile that Castle had on his face, he'd seen the woman and he enjoyed it.

-x-

" Can you take him?" Castle asked and Beckett nodded, taking the pram from Castle. He answered his phone and a series of laughs and the overuse of the word 'seriously.'

Beckett ignored what Castle was saying and focused on Noah, he was getting tired, yawning every few minutes and frowning an awful lot.

Home time.

"That was Alexis, her friends wanted to know why Alexis hadn't told them I had a baby with someone." He laughed, joining Beckett.

"I hope she set them straight." She said in a joking way, stopping at the lights and waiting for them to change. They were out of the park and on the way back to her apartment.

"She did, I told her to tell them I wish I were that lucky." He said simply, watching the cars.

If it wasn't for the blaring of the pedestrian crossing signaling her to move, she would have stood on that corner until someone smacked her out of her daze.

Wish he was that lucky? Lucky for him would be being with Kate and having a baby with her? Surely he didn't mean that. He wouldn't have said it out loud. No way.

But the look in his eye, the hand on her lower back as he guided her through the busy sidewalk said differently.

"I'm going to pop in here and grab us some lunch, meet you at yours."

She nodded, reaching inside her bag and grabbing a coin purse, opening the zip she found and handed him the spare key to her apartment.

He took it from her, within a second adding it to his key chain.

They did this in silence, both watching each other carefully. He leaned in, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek and turned to go inside the shop.

Beckett power walked home, her mind going the same speed as her legs.

-x-

"Hey." Castle said, standing in the doorway to her room.

Beckett was so wrapped up in Noah she hadn't heard him get back. She was sitting on her bed, against the headboard with Noah wrapped in his blanket, fast asleep against her shoulder.

"He asleep?" Castle asked smiling at what he was seeing.

Beckett nodded, swinging her legs around carefully and standing. She placed Noah in his crib, standing there watching just in case he woke.

"Come on, I got us Chinese." Castle smiled, taking her hand and pulling her from the crib. She managed to grab the empty bottle and nappy on the way before closing her door.

"He go down easily?" Castle asked letting go of her hand when they reached the kitchen. She immediately missed his touch.

"He cried for a bit when I changed his nappy but I think he was just worn out from Alexis playing with him this morning." Beckett answered going to get out two plates but Castle just shook his head.

"We'll just share." He shrugged, walking towards the lounge with the food.

They sat together on the couch, watching infomercials and swapping Chinese containers. Beckett would have refused straight out but she wanted this with Castle.

God knows what else she wanted to share with him.

They ate in a comfortable silence, neither one of them really watching the infomercial on gym equipment.

When Beckett tapped out, putting her chopsticks down, she scooted across the couch, moving away from Castle and turning her body towards the couch so the side of her was rested against the pillow, her knees hugging her chest.

This frustrated Castle, she could tell by the serious frown forming because she moved away from him.

He leaned forward, dropping his carton of food and chopsticks down and sat back. His hand reaching for her ankles as he pulled them across his lap. He smiled again, enjoying them being close once more. His finger tracing circles on her foot, carefully and faintly before reaching back to get his carton of food.

-x-

She woke to Castle walking back down the hallway.

"He's still out to it." He smiled.

"I should get up, I don't even know why I fell asleep" She said, not wanting to move. She had managed to spread herself out right across the couch.

"Don't they say to sleep when the baby sleeps?" He chuckled, giving her the excuse she wanted to hear.

He sat on the end cushion by her feet, clearly not wanting to be in the way.

She half sat, reaching for his shirt and tugging. The look he gave her was pure wonder as he complied, letting himself be pulled down by her.

She was on her side, against the back of the couch and he was laying on his back. He lifted his arm up and around her so she could snuggle into his side, her hand still gripping his shirt and her right leg woven around his.

"You have to sleep as well then." She whispered, not knowing where this was coming from. Since when did snuggling with Castle become something she chose to do? Chose to instigate?

"Happy to." He replied, closing his eyes.

-x-

"What's that song?" Castle asked and Beckett got a fright, not realizing that Castle was at her door. When she woke and heard Noah, she had to climb over Castle to get off the couch. She was half expecting him to wake up when she was straddling him but he remained asleep.

She now sat on her bed, legs stretched along the edge, Noah happily playing with her fingers as she sung.

"It's a song that my Dad hated. It was some Irish singer that he flat out refused to let Mom listen to so Mom would change the words to French and sing to me." Kate smiled at the memory.

" I didn't know she spoke French." Castle queried.

"High school, college and then a summer in France. She used to speak to me when I was young too, yell at my Dad and he had no idea what she was talking about. I still know a bit, just from her speaking to me."

Noah let out a startling cry and Beckett smiled down to him, starting the song again. Noah quietened at once, so did Castle.

"What is the song about?" He asked when she finished.

"The story of the song is basically saying that even though she's quiet and shy that this guy will wait for her. That he'll love her to the moon and back."

Castle smiled, "I used to read that book like that to Alexis. It was called 'Guess how much I love you.' It's about a bunny that tells his son that he'll love him to the moon and back. Although she didn't get it in French and with a voice as amazing as yours but she did get accents."

"Best selling author reading children's books, that I have to see." Beckett laughed, looking back to Noah.

"You will." He shrugged.

What did he mean that she would? Did he frequently visit children and read to them?

Castle sat on her bed, leaning over to look at Noah. He was happily smiling up at Kate, eyes fixed on her as she sung.

-x-

Beckett was rinsing out Noah's bottle when she felt Castle behind her. Noah was happily in his bouncy seat, staring up at the mobile in front of him.

His hands wrapping around her hips, thumbs tucking under the hem of her shirt. The feel of his fingers against her skin caused her to immediately lean back into him.

When she realized what she was doing she quickly went to step forward, away from him but he pulled her back.

"Castle, what are you doing?" She asked, completely out of breath.

"Watching you do the dishes." He proclaimed, making it sound like it was another normal activity for them.

"With your hands up my top?" She asked, surprising herself with how she had managed to calm herself.

"They are cold." He laughed, letting his thumbs roam over her lower back.

"Put gloves on then." She joked.

"I like this better." He replied, resting his head on her shoulder.

Beckett didn't say anything, instead just enjoyed his touch.

Noah let out a cry and Castle leaned in, kissing her neck before going to pick him up.

She could still feel his hands all over her, his mouth against her neck as he walked around telling Noah a funny story, involving a gorgeous cowgirl and her plucky sidekick.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone, another chapter for you.<strong>

**If you review, I'll seriously love you to the moon and back.**

**Hannah**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

Beckett stood at the kitchen sink for several minutes before turning to Castle, her eyes filled with confusion and fear.

He was making his way over to her holding Noah as soon as she turned to face him.

"Kate, what's wrong?" He asked, standing only a foot from her.

She took a step back, away from Castle and Noah.

"I have no idea what's going on. You're here for a night, we were cuddling, you were kissing my cheek and ten minutes ago your hands were up my shirt, Rick," She breathed out, placing her hands on the island in the middle of the kitchen, "I didn't even stop you, I don't know why. This whole thing feels surreal but I know we'll both wake up tomorrow and we can't turn it back, we can't switch it off."

"Kate, I don't want to switch it off…" He started but she shook her head.

What the hell was going on between them?

"I'm thankful you came when I rang, honestly you saved me." She spoke again, eyes fixed on her hands.

"And now?" He asked, rubbing Noah's back to keep him quiet.

"I don't know." She said, shaking her head.

"I know that I pushed it. I was so glad you rung me, I lov-" He stopped when Noah let out a startling cry, "I like hanging out with you outside the precinct. I got carried away with the situation and I'm sorry." He said, bouncing Noah gently against him to quiet him down.

Beckett was silent and refusing to look at him.

"Kate, please." He took another step to her, feeling her thigh against his.

She looked up, holding her hands out to him, smiling at Noah. Castle reluctantly passed him to Beckett knowing this was his time to leave, she had shut herself off.

"I'll go." He said quietly, taking a step back from the pair of them. He didn't want to go, he wanted to stay until she knew everything he was feeling but he couldn't, he had to give her space.

This had happened way too fast.

"See you next week." She replied quietly, walking from the kitchen into her room to get Noah settled again.

He stood in the doorway for a moment, checking his pockets and making sure he had everything. He was stalling, he wanted her to walk out of her room smiling at him, take his hand and lead him to her room so they could rock Noah back to sleep and fall asleep together again. He wanted Ryan and Jenny to come and get Noah and see him there, he wanted Ryan and Esposito to joke about it on Monday and Beckett to roll her eyes at them, he wanted to keep the key she gave him so he could come in whenever.

He wanted her.

Instead he let the door click shut behind him before powering down the stairs, he needed to get home. Needed to think and process everything that had just happened.

-x-

"Hey." Beckett smiled, opening the door to Ryan and Jenny.

Jenny almost fell into her apartment, eyes on the lookout for Noah.

He was sound asleep in his car seat next to the couch. Beckett had managed to settle him on her own and get him ready to be taken home. Everything was packed and rested against the door.

"You did take him out of the seat didn't you, Beckett?" Ryan smiled, "Because I'm sure that's exactly how we left him."

Beckett scowled at Ryan before smiling.

"How was he? Was he sick? Did he sleep much?" Jenny asked, rubbing her finger over her sons cheek.

"He was perfect, no spew and slept heaps." Beckett smiled, feeling relieved when Jenny smiled at her.

"That's all they really do, hey where's Castle?" Ryan asked, looking around Beckett's apartment.

"He went home just before dinner." Beckett smiled, looking back to Noah.

Ryan simply nodded, knowing something else was going down but he wouldn't dare ask.

"Rick is looking after him next week, we've got a casino night for my work." Jenny smiled, picking up the car seat.

"Casino night?" Beckett asked, handing Ryan the diaper bag and completely missing Jenny's intended point.

"Yeah, we have it annually and I always organize it and this year they still want me to come even though I'm still on maternity leave. I want to see them all so Kevin talked me into it, Rick did say he wanted some baby sitting hours and since he crashed yours, maybe you could do the same to him." Jenny smiled.

"Maybe." Beckett smiled back, looking back to Ryan who was trying very hard to contain his grin.

-x-

Beckett sat at her desk at the precinct on Monday morning feeling nauseous and anxious.

When the elevator chimed, she knew it would be him. This was around his normal arrival time, an hour after she got to work. They didn't have a case so he usually would arrive later, bring her breakfast and then moan about how early it still was.

She would roll her eyes and tell him that he didn't actually need to be there, that she was just doing paper work and then he would shrug his shoulders and say that if he wasn't at the precinct then he would have to be writing at home.

They both knew that he was really there because he didn't want to be away from her.

That thought was now suffocating her. The thought of him kissing her cheek, them cuddling or his hands rubbing her lower back were like a distant, hazy memory.

She couldn't really be sure if at all actually happened or whether she was just imaging it all.

He should have been at her desk by now, she peeked over the file she was reading but couldn't see him. He wasn't in the precinct, he hadn't been in the elevator.

"Yo, where's Castle at? I wanted to ask him about the new game he got in the weekend." Esposito yelled over to Beckett and she looked up.

11.27am.

Beckett shrugged, "Not sure. If you miss him so much why don't you ring your boyfriend and ask him yourself?"

Ryan laughed and Esposito rolled his eyes.

Beckett wondered if he picked that up from her, one of her characteristic traits.

She looked back at her phone. No messages or missed calls from him.

Esposito walked back into the precinct just after three, phone in hand. "Just rung Castle, he said he's writing at home this week. Something about the ex-wife/publisher hounding him for a few more chapters."

Beckett nodded, carefully looking away from Ryan's eyes. He had this thing where he could pick her emotions in a second. She hated it, especially when it came to Castle.

This week? Just how long was he going to be away for?

-x-

Thursday morning was another slow one in the precinct with the team still having no case.

Beckett had almost finished her mountain of paperwork that had been pilling up for the last month.

Ryan and Esposito were betting each other on how long they could spin coins for.

"Hey." Castle said, handing her a coffee.

She looked up form her daze, looking at her watch and then back to Castle.

1.37pm.

"Hi." She took the coffee, not taking a sip of it like usual but instead placing it down on her desk.

"Still no case?" He asked, watching Esposito and Ryan who had moved into coin rugby. Each at one end of the desk, firing the coin through hand goal posts.

Beckett shook her head, looking back to Ryan and Esposito. Esposito had managed to hit Ryan in the eye with the coin and Ryan was sulking.

"Finish all your paper work?" He asked, the conversation going absolutely no where. Clearly over the past few days he had been in contact with Esposito, he knew there was no case, knew they were put on paperwork duty.

Had it really been four days since she saw him last.

"Almost. Get your chapters done?" She asked.

He nodded.

"Kate." He said after a moment of silence from them both.

She looked up to him, his eyes watching her so intently as he waited for her to shut off again, to make an excuse to never talk about what happened the other night.

"Yeah." She answered knowing exactly where this was going.

She knew he would bring it up. It was Castle, he had to talk about everything.

"Can we get a coffee or something when you finish?" He asked, slightly worried for her answer.

She simply nodded, looking back to her computer.

-x-

Gates had dismissed them all early saying that they should be well rested incase they have a body drop in the early hours.

Castle and Beckett shared the elevator down in silence.

Throughout the remainder of the day Castle had kept his staring to a minimum. They were both quiet as the hours ticked by, he happily played quietly on his phone unless she asked him a question about a case or asked for his opinion on something in the files she was going over.

She caught Ryan and Esposito eyeing them up at one point. It was actually a miracle to keep Castle this quiet, they probably knew something was wrong. Gates even popped her head out of her office at one point, spotting Castle she frowned and then went back inside her office.

"Want to go over there?" Castle pointed to a small cafe just down the street. They had walked a block in silence, both of them searching for an empty, deserted cafe.

"Sure." Beckett smiled, trying to pick up her mood.

As they walked through the door Castle's hand went to her lower back to guide her through, but as soon as she felt his fingers touch her, they were gone again.

She didn't look at him, knowing that he would be kicking himself for that move.

"I'll order."

"No coffee for me, I need to sleep tonight." She smiled, turning back to face Castle.

He was a little closer than she thought, she had basically bumped right into him.

His hands immediately reaching for her arms to steady her.

"I'm sorry." She said quickly, taking a step back and watching his arms drop.

"Hot chocolate?" He asked, completely dismissing the entire thing.

"Please." She smiled, taking another step back and looking for a spare booth.

-x-

He was back in a few minutes, settling down two cups on the table.

Beckett had managed to find a spare booth near the back of the cafe, away from the rest of the patrons.

"Thanks." She smiled, reaching for her cup.

"I'm sorry." Castle said suddenly, taking Beckett by surprise.

Apparently they were diving right into this.

"What for?" Beckett asked.

"Everything," He shook his head, "For touching you when I shouldn't have, for kissing you when I don't have the right, for not coming in yesterday because I couldn't face it."

Beckett froze, she knew this was coming. She thought about it all day, she knew he was going to do a big speech about it but somehow it was so much worse than she imagined.

"It's fine." She said, basically begging him to stop.

"It's not. That look you had in your eyes when you turned around at the sink, Kate, it almost killed me."

"It wasn't just you, I pulled you down on the couch with me. I happily stood by when you held my hand or kissed my cheek." She fought back, not letting him take the entire blame for this.

"I initiated it all, I asked for it to happen because I don't want to wait any longer, I was being completely selfish and took advantage of the situation." He said, basically coming out in a growl towards Beckett.

Her mouth opened in shock.

"I mean-" He started, wanting to back track his choice of words.

"Wait for what?" She asked, eyes growing.

She couldn't tell if it was hurt or love bubbling inside her stomach.

"You. What else would I be waiting for?" He asked, his voice back to soft and soothing.

"I don't understand what you mean, Rick."

"I want you. I want us. I want it all and I got a small glimpse of it when we looked after Noah. I saw how easy it could be to make happen, how easy it would be for it to happen. It felt so right, so normal and I know it scares you, it scared me as well," He half smiled, waiting for her to get up and run. This was way too much for Kate Beckett to handle, "And you can tell me to back off, I know you said you weren't ready for that kind of relationship until you solve your Mother's case but I can't fight it any longer."

"Rick, I hear-"

"You can tell me no, you can walk out of this cafe and never think about it again, you can tell me to forget it or to never go back to the precinct and I'll do what you ask. You can say maybe and I'll wait and I will, but I have to know. I have to know if one day I get to have that life with you."

Castle just looked at Beckett, waiting for her answer, waiting for her to either make or break him.

"I heard you." She said, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth.

"In the cemetery?" He asked, both of their drinks left completely neglected.

"Yes." She whispered.

"I know, you didn't think I did?" He asked.

"I told you I didn't remember any of it."

"You don't think I know when you're lying? I know why you did it. It was stupid of me to say it then, but if you didn't make it I just wanted you to know." He shrugged, finding this all so easy but at the same time, thinking back to Beckett in that hospital bed was killing him.

"I'm sorry that I lied but come on, Castle, this wont work." She signaled between the two of them and then frowned.

She used his last name, this wasn't good.

"Why?" He asked, reaching for her hand.

"Because look at me, I'm broken with a bunch of issues that I haven't even touched yet. What if I can't give you everything you want? What if it's not as perfect as you think? We're only human, nothing is ever as flawless as your books or your words." She spoke, her voice trembling.

"You are perfect, I wish you would see that, Kate." He squeezed her hand.

"No, I'm not. I lied to you all this time about not hearing you, I let you walk out of the apartment the other night, I contemplated not coming tonight. You want stable and steady and that's not me. The way you look at Alexis and the smile you gave Noah made me melt, I wanted it with you. I do want it but I can't, I just can't." She stood, pushing her cup away from the side of the table.

She pulled her coat on as she walked out the door, fighting the tears.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone, <strong>

**wow you all went crazy for that last chapter! It was amazing.**

**But now you'll probably be disappointed with this chapter, I'm sorry! It wasn't supposed to go here but it just flowed into this.**

**I hope to get a new chapter up by next week so you wont be waiting forever.**

**Hannah**

**p.s To anyone reading from the Chuck fandom, I'm sorry that it ended. I hope you are all doing ok. Big love to you all. **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five.

She ran from the cafe with tears already streaming down her face. She watched the reflections in the windows of shops passing by in case he was following her.

He wasn't.

Was he meant to follow her?

She didn't know where she was going, her apartment was the other way but she kept walking until it felt like her legs were falling off.

Her phone buzzed in her coat pocket but she was too scared to look.

What if it was a body?

She was on call.

She had to answer the phone.

"Beckett."

"Hey girl, what are you doing? You just bolted past me and didn't say hello."

Shit.

Lanie.

"Sorry, in a rush to get home that's all."

"You do realize that your apartment is the other way and you usually don't cry on the way home from work, well not usually."

Lanie had caught her leaving the precinct a few times with fresh tears and an exhausted mind.

"It's been a long day." Beckett said quietly, realizing she was caught out.

"You've got no case so this must be about the fact Castle stumbled out that same cafe with the same expression on his face that you currently have."

"Lanie." Beckett whispered, leaning against the wall, rubbing her forehead with her hand.

"Stay there, I can see you." Lanie was crossing the road, phone still held against her cheek.

"What happened?" She asked as soon as she got to Beckett.

"I've screwed it all up."

-x-

Lanie's apartment was closer so they hurried there.

"Tell me what happened."

Beckett breathed in, closing her eyes.

She was a private person; she hated sharing things like this. It always felt so silly and stupid when it came from her mouth.

"I rung Castle when I couldn't get Noah to sleep last weekend and he came over. He was so good with him, we just hung out and I didn't want him to go. We fell asleep together, nothing happened though. The next day we went to the park and everyone was smiling at us and whispering. I was cleaning out Noah's bottle and he just came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me like it no big deal."

"And?"

"Lanie, come on. This is Castle we are talking about!"

"I don't see the problem. Did you not like it?"

"I did like it." Beckett admitted quietly.

"Then? What you froze up, kicked him out and then at the cafe he laid it all on the line?"

Lanie was in the wrong profession; she was the detective right now.

Beckett nodded.

"I'll say this once and only once because you have a gun and you scare me. You and Castle, it's weird and different but it works for the two of you. I know you're scared but you have to jump in, he's been standing waiting for you to jump for a few years now and what's holding you back? Your mother's case? Kate, it'll still be there and one day you'll get to solve it and he'll still be standing next to you, still fighting with you."

"What if it doesn't work? Then I'll lose him for good."

"You can't go into something like this thinking it won't work especially with Castle. He's perfect for you; it actually scares me how you two work. You both deserve to be happy and this could be the only time that you'll both be ready."

"Am I ready?" Beckett looked up, eyes red and puffy.

"The fact you're crying and this upset over it means something. Go talk to him."

-x-

"He's in his office writing, he's in a mood." Alexis closed the door behind Beckett and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, should I not go in there?" Beckett was kind of glad that Alexis was there, it meant that he couldn't yell and she couldn't cry.

"No, go in. You might cheer him up." Alexis smiled, heading over to the kitchen counter.

Beckett felt bad knowing that his mood was caused by her and Alexis had no idea.

"I'm going out, meeting with some friends."

Beckett nodded, watching Alexis collect her things and put them in her bag.

"You'll have to basically smack him out of it, he won't see or hear you when he's like that."

Beckett nodded again, worried if Alexis and Lanie ever teamed up the world wouldn't survive.

She walked over the office after Alexis left, she could hear him typing through the holes in the shelving.

"Castle." She said quietly, secretly hoping she wouldn't have to go and shake him out of his mood.

He didn't even flinch, his eyes glued to the laptop screen as he typed furiously. She walked right into the office, behind his desk so she could watch him type.

"Rick." She said, taking a step closer to him.

When he didn't answer her, she lightly squeezed his shoulder and he jumped from the chair. Eyes wide in shock.

"Beckett." He said, voice loud and alarming.

He had given her such a fright and she'd stepped back, hitting her hip on the corner of shelf behind his desk.

She heard her bone hit the hard wood.

Her hand clutched her hip as she sucked in a breath.

"I'm sorry." He said, taking a step closer and then freezing.

"What the hell?" She said through gritted teeth.

"I was just writing a scene between Rook and Nikki and I felt like I was getting way too involved because I could smell you and that's never happened before but it wasn't Nikki, it was you."

She looked at him and shook her head.

"That sounded creepier than I thought it would. Let me take a look." He stepped forward, holding out his hand waiting for her to shut him down. She pulled her shirt up and looked down at her hipbone.

It was already raised and red.

He ran his thumb over it gently before leading her into the kitchen.

"Castle?"

He was ignoring her as he filled an ice bag with ice.

"You just going to ignore the fact I'm here?" She asked, standing between him and the freezer.

"Beckett, move." He said, pushing her shoulder to move her.

"No, not until we talk."

"You need ice on that, it'll bruise. Alexis smacked her forehead on it when she was little, had a bump for a week."

"You don't need to look after me, Rick." She argued, putting her hands on her hips before letting her left hand drop because of the pain.

"Yes I do! You don't look after yourself, Kate, you barely eat and I catch you yawning as soon as you walk into the precinct. I try not to smother you but it kills me when you won't let me help you. Accepting the help doesn't make you less of a person or of a detective, it just means you need a bit of help once and awhile." His voice fell back to normal as he spoke but he'd never yelled at her like that.

"We all need someone to look out for us and I want you to let me do that for you. The fact that you're here suggests you don't want to kill me or maybe you're waiting to do it, which scares me but please, please don't run away again." He closed his eyes, scared that if she did run he wouldn't have to see it again.

"I'm sorry." Beckett said quietly, reaching if out for his hand. She entwined their fingers and smiled up to him.

"You're not going to kill me?" He opened one eye, peeking at her.

"Not today." She smiled.

"Will you sit down so we can ice your hip please?" He asked, tightening the lid on the ice bag.

She nodded, following him to the lounge.

She closed her eyes when she sat down; the pain was shooting into her hip. She remembers hitting her hip like this before. She had been running late for school and ran through the kitchen to grab her schoolbag and hit the open drawer in the same place.

"It'll work better if you lift your shirt." Castle said, hoping this wasn't going to push her away again.

Beckett lifted her shirt without opening her eyes and he gently let the ice bag rest on the bone.

"Looks bad, maybe we should go the emergency room."

Her eyes shot open, "No, it's just a bump, Castle."

This is what he was talking about, letting someone else take care of her and not shutting people out.

"If it doesn't get any better with the ice, we'll go." She sighed.

He smiled. Smiled like it was Christmas and he had just been given his Santa sack.

He moved the ice and she winced.

"Sorry." He said, running his finger over the top of her hand.

"I'm sitting on it weird, I need to stretch it."

Without opening her eyes he had gently swung her legs onto the couch over his lap and the ice bag perfectly snug between her hip and the back of the sofa.

"So am I allowed to ask what made you come over?"

"I walked past Lanie and didn't even see her. I think she rung me to yell at me for ignoring her until I told her it was about you."

"And?"

"I told her I screwed everything up and she basically said I was stupid and I had to be a grown up and come talk to you."

"She's right."

"That I screwed everything up or that I'm stupid?" Beckett asked, concern filling her voice.

"Neither of those. That you had to come and talk to me, that's what she's right about." He smiled at her, giving her that smile that changed her life. The one she wanted to wake up to every morning, go to sleep with every night.

Beckett took a big breath in, closing her eyes again.

"Hey, you're here, that's a start." He softly wrapped his fingers around her ankle.

When she didn't answer, he squeezed harder.

She let her eyes open to find him looking at her with such love and faith.

"What if this doesn't work?" She asked, actual worry in her voice. He'd be gone for good, wouldn't be at the precinct, and wouldn't be in her life.

"What if it does work? What if in a couple of years we get engaged and then married? What if we get to have kids? You could have it all, Kate. I would give you everything I have and try to make you smile every single day."

"You do make me smile everyday." She admitted, chest rising and falling fast.

He moved her legs and moved up the couch, lying next to her like the night they looked after Noah.

"I love you." He said, hand resting on her stomach.

She could feel herself choking up, every single emotion she's ever felt toward him spiraling out of control. She leant up to face him, his smile was encouraging and adoring.

"Rick." She sighed, tears filling her eyes once again, the grand total of today she didn't know.

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know." He said, there was pain in his voice, they both heard it but he smiled through it.

She turned on her side, gripping his shirt as the pain dove into her hip again.

"Ouch." She winced, feeling him put the ice back on her hip after it had fallen between them.

Her hands were still gripping his shirt tightly when she looked up to him.

"Say it again." She asked, biting down on her bottom lip.

"I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too."

She felt his lips on hers and the mixture of both of their tears on her cheek.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey,<strong>

**First off I have to apologize for how long it's taken me to get this to you all. I've got four other open stories and I keep coming up with other ideas and my brain just can't stop. **

**I really hope you like this chapter. I'd say we've got maybe two(ish) chapters left.**

**Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.**

**Hannah**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I wish.

Chapter Six.

* * *

><p>She could hear Castle talking quietly and for a moment she forgot where she was.<p>

Until she remembered showing up at his place, hurting her hip on that damned cabinet behind his desk, the heated words and then the revelations of love.

She remembered their kiss that started so sweetly and loving that in a flash turned into passionate and heated as they explored the territory they've held out on for almost four years now.

Beckett had moved to get closer to him but her hip had seized and she had to stop. Castle basically pushed her away, shaking his head and telling her that they would get to that when there wasn't an ice bag between them and a reddened and sore hip.

But she wanted him.

She had crossed her arms in frustration and pouted.

He laughed and kissed her on the cheek and telling her that it was only a matter of time.

"Castle?" She asked, opening her eyes to see the dim loft.

"Hey you, how's the hip?" He was smiling at her, looking at her like she was the most precious thing in this world.

She wriggled a bit and closed her eyes again.

"Hurts." She whispered.

"You might want to get some arnica cream or something."

Kate's eyes opened quickly. Alexis was sitting in the armchair, legs thrown over the side and flicking through messages on her phone.

That was the person that Castle had been speaking with.

Did she really think he was just talking to an empty room?

"That's a good idea. Do we have any?" Castle asked, looking to the ceiling like he was trying to recall the contents of his medicine cabinet.

"Yeah, I've got some from when I hit my elbow on the corner of the bench. I'll go grab it." Alexis threw her phone back down on the chair as she strode away.

"Castle." Beckett shoved his chest, trying to pull herself up.

Somehow in the midst of their kissing frenzy, he had sat up and she'd crawled into his lap.

Where she was currently cuddled into his chest.

With Alexis sitting over on the other chair.

"What?" He asked, still smiling.

"Why didn't you wake me up when Alexis got home? She doesn't need to see this." She tried to get up again but his arm was wrapped around her middle.

"She doesn't care, she knew it would happen eventually."

She tried to move again, his arm wouldn't budge.

"Rick, let me go." Her tone sounded angry and hurtful and Castle released his grip.

"I didn't mean to upset you." He looked liked he'd been given the most amazing toy and had it taken away only a moment later.

She was on the other side of the room, emptying the icebag.

"Here you go, Kate." Alexis smiled, oblivious to what was happening or just choosing to ignore it.

"Thanks." Beckett smiled, taking the cream from Alexis.

She tugged her shirt up, wincing as she ran her fingers over the graze.

"Looks really bad." Alexis said, taking the cream back from Beckett and opening it for her.

"It'll be fine, just hit it at a weird angle." Beckett smiled, running the cream over the red graze.

It was getting late, Beckett's phone had played nice so far with no one ringing with a body drop but she needed to get home and change her clothes.

She needed a proper sleep and figure out her what was happening.

"I'm going to bed, really into this new book." Alexis smiled, handing the cream back to Kate.

"Night sweetie, thanks for the cream." Castle hugged his daughter, trying to smile through it.

"Thanks Alexis." Beckett added.

"It's ok, see you both in the morning." Alexis grabbed her phone from the couch and made her way up the stairs.

See you both in the morning?

Damn.

She was good.

"Hey." Castle smiled, lifting the side of her shirt up to examine her hip.

"It's fine." She said before he could say anything.

"Ok, come to bed then." He asked, taking her hand in his.

"I can't, I have to get home. I'm on call, I need to be able to get up and go. I can't show up at a crime scene in the same clothes that I left the precinct in today."

He nodded slowly, wishing she would just give in and come to bed with him.

"You shouldn't be on call with your hip like that." Yeah, he was trying it all to get her to stay.

"It's not going to affect the way I do my job, it's only a graze." She replied, stepping away from him and walked into the lounge to get her phone.

"Ok then." He was giving into her because he was so afraid that she would run for good.

She turned around to apologize when her phone rung.

"Dead bodies and their timing." Rick joked, carefully defusing the situation.

"Beckett." She answered, leaning over to grab her shoes before dropping the phone in pain.

"Kate!" Rick grabbed her as she fell and sat her on the couch.

They could both hear Esposito calling to her down the phone and he handed her the phone.

"I'm fine, Espo. I just grazed my hip at Castle's. Tell me the address."

Castle had taken a few steps back, letting her have the space.

"Are you seriously doing this? Javi, I'm fine."

Then there was silence.

"Fine, call me in the morning if you need my help."

She let her phone fall on the couch next to her and she sighed.

Castle stood motionless and waited for her to talk; he wasn't going to push her tonight.

"Esposito benched me. I'm off tonight and tomorrow." She said, looking up to Castle and rolled her eyes.

"Well it can't hurt taking a break and letting it heal quickly so you can get back to work." Castle said, silently praying he wouldn't say the wrong thing.

She stood again, walking to him.

"I can take you home if you want, I'll just go tell Alexis that I'll be back shortly." He went to walk away but she grabbed his arm.

"No, I'm staying."

His smile made her weak at the knees.

"Really?" He asked.

"You have to stop looking at me like you're counting the seconds till I run again. I know this is big and I want to take it slowly."

His face was a mixture of hurt and confusion.

"I want to go to bed and wake up tomorrow with you. I want to have breakfast and I want you to listen to me when I whine about not being allowed back at the precinct. I want to tell the boys and Lanie this is official when I'm ready."

"And what about Alexis and my mother?" He asked.

"You can tell them when you're ready, I'm sure they already know but it's your decision." She answered.

"I want it to be our decision."

Our.

Because they were in this together now.

"Well do you want to tell them now?" She asked, leaning back and forth on her feet.

"I want to scream it to the world."

She laughed and rolled her eyes and he took it as his invitation to step closer. He was gentle as he wrapped his arms loosely around her middle.

"We'll tell them when I'm allowed to go back to the precinct. I'll ring Lanie in the morning, if I don't let her know first then she'll kill me." Beckett smiled, looking up to Rick.

He was smiling as he nodded.

"Bed?" He asked just as she yawned.

"Please."

"Guest room?" He asked, but she shook her head and took his hand, leading him to his own room.

-x-

"You asleep?" She asked and he looked over to her.

"No." He whispered.

"Why can't you sleep?" She asked, rolling onto her side.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I can't actually believe that you're in my bed right now? I'm petrified that I'm going to wake up and it's going to be a dream."

"You are so girly." She laughed, letting her hand hit against his chest playfully.

"I pour my heart out to you and you wound me." He pouted before turning on his side, away from her, to be dramatic.

She was still laughing when she sat up, eyes closing with the pain but she refused to make her stop.

"Rick." She purred leaning over him, whispering in his ear.

He stilled, wondering where this was going to go.

"Rick." She said again, her hot breath hitting his neck before she gently nipped his earlobe.

"Ye…yeah." He stumbled.

"I'm not going anywhere." She smiled.

In a flash he rolled over, pinning her to the bed below him.

She was laughing as he held her hands above her head.

"Don't ever stop laughing." He whispered before kissing her neck and suddenly teasing him didn't feel like such a good idea.

Because he did it right back.

"Castle." She groaned, feeling her hips rock into him involuntary.

"Is it your hip?" He asked, moving to look at her.

"No, it's fine." She answered; she couldn't feel her hip at all. She could feel every inch of her body on fire though and she didn't want it to stop.

"What is it?" He asked, not letting go of her hands as he looked down to her.

"Kiss me." She answered, smiling up to him.

He didn't waste a second before closing the gap between his lips and hers.

-x-

When she woke up she was in a state of confusion.

This wasn't her room or her bed and it certainly wasn't her hand draped across her bare stomach.

Castle.

It was early but her body was so used to waking up at this time.

5.27am.

She sighed as she looked over to him. He was sound asleep on his stomach, face cuddled into his pillow.

Beckett smiled, watching him breath soundly.

She tried to count the hours of sleep she had but it was blurry and she couldn't exactly remember the time they fell into the sheets for the last time. Her body still tingled and she had to bite her lip from letting herself smile too much.

She rolled on her side, moving from her pillow to his and nestled into his chest.

"Kate?" He said groggy, voice filled with sleep.

"Yeah?"

"Did we actually...you know?" He asked, slighty nervous.

"Several times." She answered, feeling his hand on her stomach tighten.

"Is this a dream?" He asked, still half-asleep.

"No." She giggled.

Kate Beckett giggled.

"What's the time?" He asked, eyes finally fluttering open.

"Half five." She said, eyes reaching his.

He groaned, head hitting back into the pillow.

"Go back to sleep, you've got the day off."

He pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arm around her tightly.

"Rick." She said quietly, still watching him.

He opened his eyes looking down to her.

"I love you." She whispered, needing to say it again.

Needing him to see how sure she was of this.

He smiled at her.

"I love you more." He kissed her softly.

"Not possible." She smiled, cupping his cheek and brought his hips back to her.

-x-

"Morning." Alexis smiled, walking down the stairs.

"Hey, sweetie." Castle smiled, eyes wandering over the paper.

"I know I promised that I'd babysit Noah with you tomorrow night but I was wondering if I can go to Paige's. She's having this spa day and I think she specifically organized it for me because i've been so busy lately." Alexis was gripping her phone tightly, worried about her the reaction.

"Yeah, you should go. I have looked after a child alone and she turned out alright so there is no need to worry." Castle smiled at his daughter and Alexis breathed a sigh of relief.

"Kate, you should come over instead." Alexis added, joining Beckett on the other side of the counter.

"We had a body drop yesterday and I'm off today so I'll have to cover Ryan tomorrow night." Beckett looked up to Alexis and smiled.

"Totally sucks." Castle sighed, turning the page of the paper.

"You'll get over it." Beckett pushed the toast towards him and he picked up a piece without looking away from the paper.

Alexis let out a laugh and the pair looked up to her.

"What?" Castle asked.

"The two of you, it's like you have been married for years and it's been what? A day?" She shook her head and laughed again.

"It was a long time coming."

The three of them turned to find Martha walking down the stairs.

"Gram! I didn't know you were here." Alexis hugged Martha.

"Snuck in this morning. Very nice to see you again." She hugged Beckett and gave Castle the proud mother nod.

"Good to see you too." Beckett smiled.

"So it's official then?" Martha looked towards Alexis and she nodded before they both laughed.

"I feel like I'm the butt of whatever you are laughing at." Castle scowled at his daughter and then mother.

"Nonsense Richard, Alexis and I just discussed the two of you the other day and we knew it would be coming."

Beckett stood there in silence watching his family debate over what tipped them off about their new relationship.

"Kate?"

Beckett looked up to find three sets of eyes on her.

"Yeah, sorry." She smiled, letting Castle know there was nothing to worry about with her zoning out.

"Do you want to come?" Castle asked, watching her intently.

"Come where?" She asked, suddenly realising she had missed more in the conversation than she thought.

"With us, out for lunch. We're going to the park." Alexis said, making Beckett wonder if it was her decision to begin with.

"I'd love to."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone, thanks for all your amazing messages regarding the loss of my Aunty. I appreciated every single one of them.**

**Sorry to have kept you waiting so long for this, hope you enjoyed it.**

**I reckon there might be two-three more chapters of this story to go, depends on what you lot think.**

**Hope you're having an amazing weekend.**

**Hannah**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Yeah right.

Chapter Seven

* * *

><p>Castle and Beckett bumped hips as they walked to the park. She felt like a teenager again going out on a first date with the captain of the football team.<p>

Instead she was going to the park for a picnic with her boyfriend, his daughter and his mother.

Boyfriend.

Big step.

"You alright?" Castle asked, juggling the picnic basket to take her arm as they crossed the road.

"Perfect." She smiled at him, wondering if it could really be this easy.

She could feel her jeans rubbing against the graze on her hip as she walked but she refused to let it ruin what was happening around her.

"Here?" Alexis stopped, looking around and then turning to her father who nodded.

"You are such a perfect child. This is a prime spot to see people falling down when they are trying to rollerblade and then the people on their first dates at the fountain and the mothers-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Kate scowled at him, helping Alexis unfold the blanket.

"Ah. I was kidding." He faked innocence and was met by three sets of equally annoyed eyes.

"Seriously Richard, you finally get the girl and then say the stupidest things." Martha waved her hand at him and rolled her eyes.

"But-"

"Just leave it, Dad. Before you manage to make it worse." Alexis sat down next to Martha and sighed.

Beckett was suppressing a smile when Castle looked over to her.

"You never know, Castle, there might be some sexy dads at the park too." She laughed as she sat down.

"That is totally unfair. Did you hear Kate?" He turned to Alexis and Martha.

"Yeah and?" Alexis queried.

"I don't see your point." Martha shrugged and reached for the picnic basket.

"This whole ganging up on me thing is going to get old, really fast." Castle pouted as he sat down next to Beckett, his shoulder nudging hers.

"You big baby." Beckett laughed as she leaned over to kiss his cheek.

-x-

They separated after the picnic, Beckett headed home to shower and get ready to head to the precinct when Esposito called to tell her that him and Ryan had managed to close the case already.

"What?" Beckett exclaimed, stopping in the doorway of her room.

"I know. We're super cops and you're envious that we didn't need you and Castle on this one." Esposito said down the phone and Beckett heard Ryan laughing in the background.

"The guy turned himself in didn't he?" Beckett asked.

Esposito fell silent on the phone and it was Beckett's turn to laugh.

"Yes." Esposito said quietly and she heard Ryan sigh in the background.

"I will be grateful though if you're ringing me to tell me that I don't have to come in today." She said, trying not to get her hopes up.

"You don't have to come in today, we're not even on call."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear."

"So you're free to babysit with Castle tonight." Esposito hinted and waited for a reaction from Beckett.

"Seems that way doesn't it. See you later." She laughed ending the phone call.

-x-

"Thought the boys solved the case and you didn't need to come in?" Lanie asked, looking up from the body on the slab.

"They did." Beckett smiled.

"And yet here you are." Lanie had a certain smile on her face. The same smile that told the story of her knowing something, something big and she was waiting for Beckett to bring it up.

"You going to bring it up or am I?" Beckett asked, pulling herself onto the spare steel slab.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lanie shrugged her shoulders, still unable to hide the smile.

"Don't make me spell it out for you." Beckett said, she hated saying these things out loud.

"Well I'm guessing you went and talked to Castle?" Lanie asked, making Beckett meet her half way.

"I did." Beckett nodded, becoming the one to try to hide her smile.

"And judging by that smile you're trying to hide but failing miserably, you worked it all out? Got freaky in the sheets?"

"Lanie! freaky in the sheets? You've been spending far too much time with Javi." Beckett laughed, covering her face with her hands.

"But I'm right?" Lanie asked.

Beckett just nodded.

"Well, it's about damn time." Lanie smiled at her friend, knowing this was good news.

-x-

"Looking pretty handsome there, Espo." Castle said as he opened the door.

"You know it." Esposito laughed, walking into the loft.

"And Lanie, looking as stunning as ever." Castle smiled, signalling for her to come into the loft.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"No, thank you." Castle said genuinely, both of them knowing exactly what he was meaning.

"Beckett, look at you all at home in Castle's kitchen." Esposito laughed, sitting at one of the barstools.

Beckett just rolled her eyes at him as she pulled out the lasagne Castle had made.

Castle had just about made it into the kitchen when there was another knock at the door.

"Ryan and Jenny, come on in."

Jenny walked in carrying Noah in his car seat capsule with Ryan close behind with the travel bassinet and nappy bag.

"Hey beautiful." Lanie cooed over Noah making him smile.

"He's fed, changed and will crash pretty soon. He's had a shocking week so if he wakes up or gets too much then just call and we'll come back." Jenny sounded exhausted as she pulled out his bottles and handed them to Kate.

"I can assure you that he'll be just fine and you can have a night off with Kevin." Castle said, taking the bassinet from Ryan and putting it in the office. Esposito and Ryan followed, asking Castle about the new game he'd bought.

"Long week?" Beckett asked Jenny.

"You have no idea and I took two hours deciding what to wear and everything was wrong." Jenny huffed, fiddling with the lace on her dress.

"You look gorgeous." Beckett smiled and Lanie nodded.

"I'm glad Kevin convinced you two to come along. I work with them all but sometimes they piss me off."

Beckett and Lanie both laughed, loving the openness of Jenny. She used to be all shy and quiet and now she didn't care, she'd let it all out.

"I feel awful that you're stuck here looking after Noah though, not much for a night off when you're friends are all going out." Jenny said looking up to Beckett.

"I'm looking forward to it actually. Dinner on the couch and movies." Beckett smiled.

"And hot make out sessions and cuddling?" Lanie asked and Beckett turned to her with a shocked expression on her face.

"Finally." Jenny said putting on Noah's sock that he'd managed to pull off.

"Seriously?" Beckett asked.

"Everyone knew it would happen." Jenny smiled.

"Knew what would happen?" Castle asked, walking into the kitchen with Esposito and Ryan following close behind him.

"That we'd end up together." Beckett smiled.

She heard Ryan choke and Esposito's jaw almost hit the floor.

"What?" Ryan stuttered.

"You're together?" Esposito asked, looking from Castle to Beckett.

"Yeah." Beckett answered for them both; Castle was far too shocked to even answer.

"Wow." Ryan said, sounding a little taken back.

"About time though." Esposito shrugged.

"Should probably take Castle back in there and give him the talk." Ryan looked at Esposito and raised an eyebrow before looking back at Castle.

Esposito flexed his fingers and rolled his neck.

Castle took a step back, almost hiding behind Beckett.

"Wont be necessary boys, but thank you." Beckett said, running her hand up Castle's arm to let him know he was safe.

"You sure you don't want us to rough him up a little, give him the what if?" Esposito asked, taking another step closer to Castle.

"I'm quite sure and you better get going, don't want to be late for casino night." Beckett looked to Lanie and Jenny.

"Beckett is right, come on." Lanie said, reaching out to grab Esposito's arm.

Esposito gave Castle the 'I'm watching you' look before saying something in Spanish and following Lanie out.

Ryan and Jenny were giving Noah quick kisses before pulling on their coats.

"Seriously ring me if he is any trouble." Jenny said before taking a step out of the door.

"I will but if everything goes to plan, see you tomorrow." Beckett assured Jenny.

"Have fun, bro." Esposito smiled at Castle before wrapping an arm around Lanie and disappearing down the hallway.

All his seriousness from before had simply disappeared and he was back to his usual self.

Castle and Beckett stood in the doorway watching them leave.

"Do you think we should get them matching his and hers police vests?" Ryan asked, causing the group to laugh.

-x-

"Do I want to know what Esposito said in Spanish?" Castle asked, running a hand over Beckett's lower back.

"I didn't hear it all but it was something about if you hurt me something something rusty spoon."

Castle grimaced and Beckett laughed.

"Thank you for telling them." Castle said after recovering from his friends words.

"I'm glad we did, feels so much better than everyone we love knows." Beckett was unclipping Noah from his seat and picked up the smiling baby.

"What about your dad?" Castle asked, hoping he didn't sound too nervous.

"He rung me this afternoon and I told him." Beckett shrugged, knowing it was killing Castle that she hadn't mentioned it.

"And?" He asked, following her to the couch.

"And what?" She asked, letting him flounder.

"Uh, I don't know maybe give me advice or an arrest warrant for dating his only daughter, his pride and joy, the apple of his eye, his baby girl" Castle's hands flew to his face.

"Enough with father-daughter sayings, Castle. He chuckled and told me it was time that I saw straight and it should have happened years ago."

"He's on my side?" Castle asked suddenly feeling bold.

"Quite the charmer you are." Beckett laughed, looking down to Noah who had fallen asleep in her arms.

"So are you." Castle said quietly as he watched Noah sleep soundly in her arms.

-x-

"That's Noah." Beckett said, going to get up from the couch.

They were halfway through _Superman Returns _when Noah woke.

"Let me get him, I haven't even held him yet." Castle said, already standing up.

Beckett reached out for the remote to pause the movie when she saw Castle dancing with Noah. She tried not to laugh too loud as she watched him.

She had thoughts of a possible future when they looked after Noah at her apartment but it was different at the loft. It would be where they would raise their children.

Raise their children?

Beckett shook her head, trying to push those images out. She wasn't quite ready for that just yet.

"Thinking awfully hard there, Detective." He smiled, bringing in Noah and the nappy bag.

"Hmm?" She asked, watching him as he sat down on the rug with Noah.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked, taking out the mat to change Noah on and leaning back against the couch.

"Do you ever want more?" Beckett asked, looking at Noah.

Apparently she was ready for this now.

"More babies?" He asked, undoing Noah's buttons on his onsie.

"Yeah."

"I did but I knew that Gina wasn't one for having children so I kind of put it on the back burner. Raising Alexis alone wasn't all fun and games and I didn't want to do it again alone so I just put it aside."

"Oh." Beckett said, realizing it wasn't what she really wanted to hear.

But he told her that they could have it all one day.

"But now, now it's different." He smiled, doing the tabs up on Noah's clean nappy.

"Now?" Beckett asked.

"With you." He turned to look at her and then he smiled with that same smile he'd given her only a handful of times.

That smile that meant he'd give her the world and stand next to her forever.

"With me?"

"Yes, Kate Beckett, with you. I want it all, everything with you. Marriage and babies, the entire lot."

"I want it all too." She said, causing him to give her that certain smile once more.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight.

Disclailmer: Yeah. I wish.

* * *

><p>"Rick, he's awake." Beckett grumbled into her pillow.<p>

"You get him." He mumbled.

"No, you get him." Beckett pulled the cover over her head.

Noah had sleep most of the night, he'd woken for his bottle and happily gone back to sleep, but as soon as Beckett and Castle climbed into bed, he had begun to cry. Every half hour they were up and soothing him before exhaustedly falling back into bed.

"I got him last time." He whined.

Beckett pushed him with her foot to get him out of the bed.

"Stop it, Beckett. It's not fair, you go."

"Do you love me?" She asked, opening her eyes to see him watching her.

"You seriously did not just ask that." He joked.

She smiled shyly into her pillow.

"Katherine Beckett, I never." He shook his head and tried not to smile.

He pulled the sheets down and climbed out of bed.

"When we have kids do not think that will work every time." He said walking to the office.

Kate froze and her breath caught.

They had talked about it that evening. She'd asked him if he wanted more, he told her he wanted it all with her and she told him she wanted the same. But now, now it was real.

She'd told her dad, their friends knew and now they were talking about kids?

Where had Kate Beckett gone?

Because the person that was currently curled up in Richard Castle's sheets after pushing him out of the bed to get the baby to stop crying certainly wasn't Kate Beckett.

And that frightened the hell out of her.

But then it also made her stomach flip and she couldn't help but smile.

"I figured out he doesn't like the light coming in from the lounge so I turned the crib around and he went straight to sleep." Rick explained climbing back into bed.

Beckett couldn't hide her smile and Castle watched her for a moment before his curiosity got the better of him.

"What's with the smile? You were less than happy about being woken up a few minutes ago." He laughed, moving closer to her.

She shook her head and laughed, hiding her head in the pillow.

"Tell me." He pleaded.

"It's nothing." She shrugged, pulling him by his shirt to move closer to her.

"Yes it is, please tell me." His voice was joking but there was this need in it that Beckett picked up on.

"I just. I feel. I'm just happy, Castle. I'm really happy." She kissed him soundly.

-x-

"How can he be so happy when it's so early?" Castle whined.

"I told you that I'd get up with him and you could stay in bed." She said, moving Noah to the other side of her to take his bib off.

"I know but I wanted to get up."

"So quit with the whining, Castle." She said, setting down the bottle that Noah had thrown across the kitchen.

Noah had woken around six and Beckett had fed him and changed him before Castle had even emerged from the bedroom.

"It's just really early." Castle yawned and Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes." He said picking up the morning paper.

"I didn't" She said and Castle gave her that look that told her that she was wrong.

"Sorry." She said, realising that he knew her better than she knew herself.

He turned the paper over and reached for his coffee cup.

"Castle?"

"Yeah." He didn't look up from the paper.

"Rick."

That caused him to look up immediately.

"What?" He asked, tone suggesting that he was nervous.

"What you said this morning, when he was crying, it just got me thinking."

He looked panicked as he tried to recall saying whatever he said.

"You said, 'When we have kids, do not think that will work every time.' I can't stop thinking about it." She confessed, watching Noah as he played with a stuffed elephant as she held him on her hip.

"Can't stop thinking about it in a good or bad way?" He asked, treading carefully.

"I don't know. I've never been so great with relationships and then throw that in there? I want it all, I really do but do you think we could do it? Raise a kid. We're already bickering and he's not even ours."

Castle smiled.

"I know that you've been thrown in the deep end and I can see you thinking every second, I know you and I know that it's going to eat away at you until you figure out every crease, but I wont do it." He smiled as he shrugged.

"Wont do what?" She asked, not sounding relieved at all.

"Tell you that if we have kids that we wont bicker, that it'll be all rainbows and cupcakes. Kate, we'll fight and yell at each other for the stupidest things. Over who is getting up and doing the school run, who is staying up late to help finish the science project? It's all part of the fun."

"Castle, I'm not ready for this."

"It's not like we're going to try for tomorrow, Kate. You need to relax because I'm not going to share you for awhile yet." He smiled, standing to give her a quick kiss.

Beckett sighed in relief. She could do this.

Just not tomorrow.

She wasn't ready to share him either.

-x-

"What?" She asked, looking up to Castle.

"Nothing." He smiled, walking into the lounge from his standing post in the dining room.

Beckett was sitting on the floor in the lounge with Noah. He was on the mat with all of his toys surrounding him.

"Was that Ryan?" Beckett asked, looking back to Noah.

"Yeah, he said him and Jenny were about to leave. Espo and Lanie are coming too."

Beckett raised an eyebrow at Castle.

"Apparently they weren't quite ready to finish the partying last night so they took the party back to Lanie's."

Beckett laughed knowing that they would all be heavily feeling it today. She had been to Lanie's too many times after going out and woken too many times with a sledgehammer working in her head.

"They'll be hating themselves this morning." Beckett giggled, playing with Noah's frog.

"I remember when we ended up at Lanie's the time we went out after," He paused trying to remember, "What was it even for?"

Beckett tried to think back but all she could remember was Lanie opening a bottle of tequila and then waking up at lunchtime the next day.

"I have no idea."

"Well, I just remember it took a good week to come right after that. Never again." He shook his head.

"Do you miss it?" Beckett asked, leaning against the back of the sofa and sitting in-between Castle's legs.

"Miss being hung-over?" He asked, slightly confused.

"No, your life before all of this." She signalled to her and then back to him.

"Before all of what?" He looked stumped.

"The old Richard Castle. Page six playboy with more models he could count and more money he knew what to do with." Beckett smirked.

"No, I don't miss it. Half of it was created by the media and the other half, I sort of fell into because I wanted to feel something." He spoke so genuinely that Beckett felt bad for assuming he missed it.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Hey, come on. I know that people perceived me as that guy and for a while I was happy with being that image. I loved the attention but it took something else to make me see I didn't like it, I didn't want my life like that."

"Alexis?" Beckett asked, watching Noah as giggled while she tickled him.

"Alexis certainly kept me grounded and it would have been a lot worse than what it was without her. I'm talking about you, Kate."

Beckett turned around to face him.

"What?" She was surprised; there was no doubt about it.

Sure Lanie had mentioned the lack of blonde bimbos flocking around him or the decreasing number of articles on page six but it had nothing to do with her.

He'd just grown up and she happened to be around him when he did it.

"Alexis was my savior, without her I would hate to think what I would be like now. Meredith and I were young when we had her and then it was just me, raising this tiny baby and hoping that I wasn't screwing her up. When she was old enough to be left with a babysitter, I'd go out and live the years I missed when I was changing nappies and toilet training. I wouldn't have changed any of that for the world, not one moment I spent with her."

He looked down to Noah and smiled.

"But then she was fifteen and I was falling into despair. I had two failed marriages and I'd just killed off my main character. I was bored and wanted crazy and new and different and then this detective showed up at my book launch and everything changed."

Beckett felt herself blushed and she looked back to Noah.

"I don't miss that life because I never felt like I was living it to begin with. Working with you and the boys, solving these cases and writing Nikki? That's something that I would never change either. It's a part of my life that I feel like I'm actually living and I love it. So your question, Kate, do I miss that life? All the glitz and the glamour? No, I have everything I need and could ever want." He smiled.

"Hope that detective wasn't too hard on you." She said, knowing he would pick up on her apology for how she treated him in the beginning. How she pushed him away at his every attempt to get close to her.

"I wore her down, only took me a few years and now she's totally in love with me." He laughed, bringing back that old Rick Castle charm that once made Beckett's heart flutter.

Now when he kissed her goodbye or handed her the paper over the table in the morning, she got that same feeling.

"Really?" Beckett raised an eyebrow at him and smirked.

"Yeah, totally and completely in love with me. What can I say? I'm a total catch." He joked again, moving to sit on the floor behind Beckett.

She leant back against his chest and closed her eyes.

"What about her? Do you love her?" She asked, feeling his arms wrap around her and his head rest against her shoulder before kissing her neck gently.

"I always have."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well that's it folks. The last chapter.**

**Hope you enjoyed it and I would like to thank you for reading/reviewing and story alerting. It's been one of my favorites and I'll miss it! **

**Thanks again.**

**Hannah**


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